Boy do things change fast! Our whole world is changing now and all I can do is pray it is for the best and that it is His plan for us. I never really thought we would move back to Ada. Well, maybe some day to retire or something. But not really even then. I can't really seem to decipher all of my emotions about this... There are lots of pros and there are lots of cons. Since the last time I live there was right after I graduated...I feel a lot like that same scared lost teenager. Looking for the approval of people from whom I did not "need" it. Trying to fit in and at the same time wanting to just exist and not be noticed too much. To be noticed carried the risk of being hurt; to not be noticed carried the risk of being alone. Teenagers can be so cruel...and even all these years later some of the memories can still be painful. Which bothers me even more! I like to think I am not that same person. I am older, I am successful, I am strong...so why am I so emotional about it? I guess...I am human and change of this magnitude of any kind is scary. (It makes me wonder if I owe anyone out there an apology for the way I treated them in high school? Just in case...I am so sorry if I was ever unkind or thoughtless to any of you!)
It is scary to leave this place which on so many levels has become comfortable and familiar. Like your favorite pair of house shoes. Yet this town does not meet all of our needs..some of them it never has. And some things it no longer does. We leave behind, family and friends both old and new. And that makes me sad. Ada is a totally different place..I am a totally different person. Will my kids be happy there, are we making the right decision? Heaven only knows... I pray I can find my place there...a way to contribute and be happy and to once again call it home. We will work like it depends on us and pray like it doesn't!
(This is in no way a normal post for me...sorry for the depth. Guess I just needed to get it off my chest.) ;`D
Posts
Daffodil CT Tag
3 months ago
6 comments:
I know it's hard to open yourself up like this but your last statement here shows that you have the right attitude... work like it depends on you and pray like it depends on Him.
Thank you for opening up and sharing your feelings in this post. I think it helps all of us to know that others are feeling and going thru the same type of things we each are. We are all in this together. I have thought so many times, like you, do I owe anyone an apology for the way I treated them in high school. One time I tried to make apologies to everyone I had wronged but I always fear that, sadly, someone may have been left out. I only wish I knew then what I know now... just how we are all so special and unique and most of all, we are all children of the same God and as such deserve to be treated so.
Best of luck in this new change Lisa, and know that you have lots of friends out here that love you and pray for you and we are always here to lend an ear if you need to talk.
Hugs Lisa! I can totally relate. Your blog looks amazing by the way!
I feel your pain honey, it is scary. This may be what is meant to be and it may just be a stepping stone to what is meant to be. You and Roger are a strong couple and have accomplished alot. Ada will be lucky to have you and Roger again, whether it is just for a little while or for a long time to come.
Remember this is a new place for your family and will be a whole new world. You and Roger have a lot of challanges ahead, be strong and hold your family close. The unknown is very scary for all of us. When one door closes another will always open (maybe sometimes just a window). Be strong and remember you are all loved. Everyone wishes you all the very best.
I love you.
Nana
(((Lisa))),
I know you wrote this a week ago but I'm just now seeing it and wanted to tell you that I'm praying for you guys. I am really going to miss you and your family and I'm a little confused by the timing of all this (because you know it's all about me, right?! haha)but no matter what, I know that God is in control and there is a time and a season for all things. This is your time to shine in Ada! You are beautiful and smart and funny and if anyone from the old days thinks otherwise, they are misinformed and ignorant!! And, btw, if you have my number if you ever need me - I got your back, girl! :)
So watch Ada!!! Martha is ccomin' to town!!! :)
Love ya!!
Deann
Well, that was full of typos! LOL Too early in the morning for me! NOT IF you have my number, you DO have my number...and WATCH *OUT* Ada! (Boy, all that sorta loses some of its punch when I screw up the phrasing! LOL)
I am torn - I don't want you guys to move to Oklahoma but I also want what's best for you whatever that is. I haven't told Mary yet - not looking forward to it!
Post a Comment