Friday, July 9, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
When I was younger I used to say that I wanted to be like Peter-Pan (Peter-Pan Ann - since I am not a guy)and never grow up! Now that I am older, I realize that I didn't really mean it! My birthday is rapidly approaching and I will be(mumble mumble) years old. In my life I have been happily married for twenty-three years, have 4 great kids, have had good success in my work life (considering I don't have my degree - which was a huge mistake on my part! Kids!!!! Go to college - get your degree - whether you are encouraged too or not - just do it!!!! You won't go back and do it later, so don't fool yourself!!!!)...so why do I feel like there is something missing? I don't mean that the decisions I made were wrong. Or that I regret any of them...that isn't it at all. I love my family! I wouldn't change that part of my life. It is hard to explain... I have so many things that I enjoy and keeping my modesty intact - I am at least pretty good at...but nothing that I feel defines me outside of my family. I guess I don't feel like I have found my "calling" in life. What is it I am supposed to be? Yes, a wife, yes, a mother...but does it make me a bad wife and mother if I feel like there is supposed to be something else?
Why is it that there isn't anything else yet? Am I too flaky to make a decision about what to commit too? Am I too lazy to put the work/time into what it takes to make this type of commitment? Will I ever find the answers to these questions?
I guess for now the only thing I can say is.. "Please be patient - God isn't finished with me yet.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Well for the sake of not totally embarrassing myself, we are going to limit this post (and all future posts for that matter!)to the first part of my list - my eye sight. Now since we have excluded all of my other ahem - "assets" (or liabilities as they are now!!!!!) my eye sight is something that I have held great pride in as I aged. When I have had my eyes checked previously I have always been able to read the very smallest lines and came away with at the very worst "almost" 20/20 vision. Woo hoo - go me!
Recently I have been noticing a few problems. When reviewing some of my photo sessions I have noticed occassions where a few of the pictures are focused on something other than the main subject. That is something I should have caught... Also, when using the double monitor at work I noticed I was having a hard time focusing on the smaller monitor and being able to read the words.
This was quite distressing to me, so I blamed a lot of it on my allergies which have been HORRIBLE since we moved back. The only thing reacting to them is my eyes. They burn, water and are extremely red most of the time lately. I have tried several different OTC medications/drops and even went to the doctor about it. He said I am not alone in my misery and gave me a prescription for eye drops.
That being said - I did decide it would be best if I went ahead and had my eyes checked to sure. I made an appointment with my cousin who is an eye doctor here in Ada and waited.
Once in the office, his assistant had me try to read the chart. "Read the smallest line you can." I tried as hard as I could but I could not read the bottom line...it was fuzzy. I was a complete failure! I could read the second to the bottom line but that was not good enough for me! I want to read the bottom one dang it! It seemed no matter how hard I tried it wasn't going to happen. I felt like I couldn't get my eyes to cooperate and focus - TRAITORS! I kept blinking and blinking, but to no avail!
So I sat there in the chair with my failure sitting there with me and weighing heavy on me. Jeff came in and stuck that big ol' contraption in front of my eyes and began "Is this better or this? One or two? Three or four? Here or here?" I pouted and answered his questions begrudingly knowing in my heart I was getting ready to hear those dreaded words - "Well, you do need glasses." I DO NOT want GLASSES!!!!!!!
You have to understand that I have a history with glasses. When I was (lots) younger I had to have glasses...I don't know who helped me pick out my glasses but I think it was the same person who helped that hispanic guy on the last season of American Idol pick out his. I don't think I ever had a pair that was flattering...at least not in the pictures my mom has. And to add to that I had a really bad habit of scrunching my nose up and "walking" my glasses up with my cheeks to push them up instead of using my finger. It was a habit my mother hated. So all I heard was "stop that...push your glasses up right!" I am pretty sure there was beatings and physical abuse involved! If you saw the pictures you would KNOW it was abusive to make a young girl walk around in public looking like that! And don't get me started on the Carol Brady hair cut on a 10 year old!
So needless to say I eventually stopped wearing them all together. Mom took me to get contacts when I was in 6th grade. I have astigmatism (impressed that I knew how to spell that aren't ya! Go look it up, it's right!) - and they did not make soft contacts to correct that and I went home with hard contacts. I was extremely dilagent about doing exactly as I was told. It was great having them...not only did it mean I didn't have to wear those gawd awful glasses anymore but they were also a great excuse to "have" to leave class and go "fix" my contact in the bathroom. BONUS!!! But alas, my new adventure was short lived. I woke up one morning with my eyes totally swollen shut! I tried as hard as I could and could not open them. Mom was sure I had fallen asleep with my contacts in..but they were in their case. I had never wanted to go to school so bad in all my life...I thought it would be so cool to have to be lead from one class to the next since I couldn't see. Mom said no and made me stay home. See! I told you I was mistreated! What a killjoy!
So I spent the next ????? years of my life not needing anything according to the Dr.s I saw and had no problems with my vision. Until now...
Jeff said that my problem was not with my actual ability to see - but with my ability to focus instead. Of course he had to add - that it was an ability that we lose as we get (you guessed it!) OLDER! So before he could say anything at all about glasses, I asked him if it could be corrected with contacts - because giving me glasses would be pointless since I probably won't wear them right. (I spared him the LONG story you have been subjected to here!) So he ordered me some trial contacts..I picked them up late this afternoon. I didn't have any problems putting them in and I plan to work my way into wearing them all day. My vision right now isn't great with them in...they take some getting use to and they are getting better as the evening goes on. Hopefully they will work and my focusing issue will be resolved!
So since that is all taken care of - I am going to refocus on improving my other "assets". If that doesn't work, I will have to take the contacts back out!!!
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
It is scary to leave this place which on so many levels has become comfortable and familiar. Like your favorite pair of house shoes. Yet this town does not meet all of our needs..some of them it never has. And some things it no longer does. We leave behind, family and friends both old and new. And that makes me sad. Ada is a totally different place..I am a totally different person. Will my kids be happy there, are we making the right decision? Heaven only knows... I pray I can find my place there...a way to contribute and be happy and to once again call it home. We will work like it depends on us and pray like it doesn't!
(This is in no way a normal post for me...sorry for the depth. Guess I just needed to get it off my chest.) ;`D
Monday, February 15, 2010
Kylie and Roger made Mr. Tude a friend. We will just call him Big Dude! Roger wanted to made Big Dude BIG to see how long he would last once the snow started to melt. I will keep you posted. on that.
The battle was on...but didn't last too long. Kylie had a hard time launching her snowballs far enough to be effective and actually hit Roger.
I have no idea why this one loaded on its side, but if you turn your head sideways you see how it is supposed to look. I am sure no one will laugh at you while you do it!
I spent way more time helping Kylie build her fort than she spent defending it!
And last but not least - here is my most recent scrapbook page. Would you believe I even did a paper scrapbook page also! Can you imagine that?!?!?!?!?!
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
I made him a cake...it is still in the kitchen looking just like this. His plans were SOOOO important, he left before we got to the cake! We should have cut a big corner of it to eat while he was gone!
This was the best picture I was able to get..I should have posted the bad ones!
Monday, February 1, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
So here are some pictures of how I spent the rest of my afternoon just for her.
Southern Salsa and chips for an afternoon snack! The roast smells yummy cooking...
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
Kylie has been learning to ride the bike she got for Christmas. She is doing great! She had given up bike riding for her scooter since she crashed her old bike when she was younger.
Adri has been learning to make faces! She is too funny!
And I have been busy catching up on some scrapping...among other things!